Where the hell have we been? Well. It’s something like this:
See, for the last two months Nick, Frank and Drew have been locked in a tiny conference room with whiteboards for walls. For twelve hour days.
This was literally the hardest thing we have ever done. And we used to be fighters and one time built a volcano and the volcano shot out people who we had to fight and it just kept shooting them for a full calendar year.
The other upside is we have a set of scripts that are absolutely the best work we have ever done. We are now getting in pre-production with shooting to take place very soon. We will of course keep you all updated through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Speaking of which we made a super strange micro series called “Playhouse”. If you follow us on Instagram you can see it.
Ok enough of this boring stuff. Time to give you what you really came here for!
7 HOT TIPS FOR WRITING A TELEVISION SERIES (WE COULDN’T BELIEVE #5!)
1. Write about something you know about. So you sound like you know what you’re talking about.
Duh. (My “Ice Cream Dinosaur Playstation Prescription Drugs” series is going to be off the
3. Write characters that are like people you know. Or similar. That way when you talk to them in your head (You’re doing that right? How else do you write dialogue?) you can get realistic pretend responses. Be warned also this will totally piss them off.
4. Don’t exercise. This one is pretty self explanatory.
5. Imagine your characters as food items. Go to the store and buy those food items. Stage elaborate fight scenes. “Commander baked beans! Get to the evac point ASAP! NO Private Marshmallow Paste, you don’t make the rules here, I DO. OH REALLY I DON’T THINK SO BECAUSE I’M PRESIDENT RAW GROUND TURKEY!” See how good that works?
6. Follow the traditional three act structure. Just… Just do it. Ok? You can get artsy and cutsey with your visuals. Make sure this thing makes sense.
7. Write down your themes, goals, and character progression. Review this first thing every day. Also do every day: exfoliate. 8. Work with people who you get along with. Spend a great amount of time laughing about things unrelated to the project. Make fun of everyone around you. Create a shared island of disdain and mistrust for the outside world. Wear matching outfits. Trust each other. Understand that an argument is not the same as a fight. Really listen to your co-writer’s ideas. Don’t be afraid to try anything. Have fun. They say if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. That’s bullshit, we worked harder on this than anything ever. But it was a blast.
OK! Now you’re all set. Go get a meeting with someone and pitch your series. You’ll do great! We’re all right behind you.
* *We don’t care. But we will totally answer questions for you.
** **We will not.